Girls
Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
borrowed from megan
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I take a risk saying that. But I will risk it.
Howling with laughter. Nice to lighten things up.
Noooooooooo. I have the pleasure of one nephew on my side of family out of all girl cousins, only female aunts, all nieces, etc. And he is a GREAT kid - honorable, gentle soul but major athlete, sweet, unabashedly loving, a pure heart. As are his friends. I am honored to know him. Many nephews on husband's side. ALL great kids. Now my daughter's dates - those guys we greet with a shot gun :)
I happened to have had neither when I married. Oh, she was alright but not from the top and I certainly wasn't a good catch by any stretch of the imagination.
I have been divorced since before joining a church. That's approximately 17 years ago.
The world is full of evil. It takes a disciplined person or a pure soul to not have been corrupted by it. Even without outside influence, people are inherently evil. Some evil is overt, its easy to spot evil when someone is torturing and killing animals before moving on to humans. Some evil is subvert, its not so easy to recognize evil when its hidden, excused, or generally accepted by society. Hypersensitivity to criticism of girls or children or any group provides an environment for evil to fester. An example is the lowered expectations for the behavior of blacks. Ergo, the higher crime rates, higher counts of unwed mothers and teen pregnancy, higher rates of drug abuse and alcoholism.
This pop-culture idea that "we shouldn't judge people" is relatively new, but the results will be similar to the soft racism which ushered in such detrimental and devastating effects on the black community. Not only are we not holding the black community to the same standards of behavior as other races, we are no longer requiring these standards of behavior for our own children.
It is never okay to encourage or even allow children to be mean to one another. Using our judgment is not meant for meanness, even if it is used that way by some. It is meant for self protection and for building a lifestyle for success. Success is a generally happy, secure, and reasonably comfortable and productive life. Our country was designed to provide this opportunity for as many of its citizens as possible but was never meant to be a guaranteer of success. Its necessary to fight evil to ensure our children retain those opportunities. Refusing to allow criticism undermines the responsibility to use judgment. Some girls are better than others. This doesn't refute any of their inherent value, but it does call each of us into the discretion of choice and reviewing character and comparable behavior patterns to determine who is a better life partner. People who've never been trained into self discipline or who refuse to submit to standards of behavior don't make very good life partners.
Regarding more crime by blacks? You just opened a well I could dip into. Read Blink. Maybe there is more crime where there is poverty. But there is definitely more imprisonment where color is involved. Read the studies. I hate to post and run...but gotta go. I'm sorry about the end of marriage. No one is perfect. And I don't believe people are inherently evil. I believe the opposite. I do believe there is an inherent pull - entropy - toward all things that disintegrate, including goodness. More later? :)
Back to rotten, I was talking about young girls - that was the theme. So no, short of sociopath or psychopath, no child (boy or girl) is inherently rotten. LATE NOW! :)
I do believe that its a choice to become "rotten". You may not know that is the path you are on at the time, but its still a choice. Some of that choice comes from the way you are raised, or the other people you are around, even loss of faith (no matter what faith you are).
I have 3 children of my own. The only thing I can do is hope they do not walk the same path I did, and try to keep them safe. Maybe they wont become "rotten"
A priest once said to me the church had a "sign" over it: "All Sinners Are Welcome." So yes, we can do rotten things. And we can put Bibles out, go to great church serivces, provide faith=based education, but there is the entropy of culture beckoning and as JudgeBob says no one can predict how our kids will lead their lives. They will make their own mistakes. Okay. Do we want them to? NO! With Grace, a very precious gift, we learn, grow, change, and we become like St. Paul. Not saints - but you get my drift - we become witnesses to God's Glory. So I think we are on the same page in many ways. I have done stupid things and rotten things and cruel things. And we learn. It's called Grace, Wisdom. Discernment. All gifts.
But the reason I took issue was semantics. A friend once said she rejected the word "spoiled" (aka rotten) because it implied damaged goods. And no child 4, 15, 16, 17 is "damaged goods." Many who are engaged in this conversation are weren't always perfect and it sounds like we asked for forgiveness and chose a new path. So then, what does that do? It gives Glory to God. People who sin and change are often the greatest witnesses. Except as JudgeBob said for the few who are of the Mother Teresa variety. Pure at all times.
Make sense? I hate these teeny boxes to write in. I always end up making mistakes!
Thanks both. A good dialogue. It brought Love present. Humanity, hope and transcendence. Doesn't sound too rotten to me. :)
[This post didnt piss me off at all! I just read Bill Cosby's book and it read exactly like this post(and was a welcome change from the Clarence Thomas memoir I read last week---dont ask).
you and Cosby hit the nail on the head--Our expectations are too low, period. High-school is free damn-it,the least we can do expect our kids to finish!
Hell when I graduated high-school I knew there was no money for me to go to college but I was still expected to go and I did. I got a job(every scholarship I could get and loans) and paid for school. When did the bare minimum become the maximum in our community?]
One of the commenters on that blog said it began with school integration. I don't know about that, but I do know that everyone, especially Democratic policymakers and courts have set the system up to expect less. Something else to consider is that poverty is far worse in other countries but their crime rates, teen pregnancies, unwed pregnancies, etc., do not reflect a relationship between the two.
That is part of the problem. Girls, misguided, want love, acceptance. The "easy" ones - are they easy or are they insecure and boys tell them, "if you loved me, you'd sleep with me." Or as one guy told me, "The key is to tell a girl you love them." Actually he said to tell a woman. He was in his 40's!
I read somewhere that most of the women who chose to sleep around when they looked back, regretted it. So I still take issue with rotten apples and only easy girls.
Mothers raise your sons to wait. But they don't. I see it. I see the mother's with one set of standards to protect their girls and another to more or less just accept "he's a boy." Baloney.
Lexann is right, this does digress from the poem. I will make one comment.
I read it. I get it. But make no mistake, I read in the communities where there are drive-by shootings and drugs being sold, that the churches, the mothers, the grandmothers, the ministers do demand more.
No one should hold the lowest of standards for their children or their community. That's just defeatist. And racism exists in the black community (about themselves) as well as in the white community.
And I love Bill Cosby for the drum he beats for the greater good of the black community. He's right.
His little girl had taken the trucks and had put them to bed. When the doctor asked her what she was doing, she told him they had to have their naps. She had given them names and was treating them like dolls. At this the doctor gave in and started treating her like the little girl she was. By the time this 'modern wisdom' had been debunked, some thirty years of education of future managers, teachers and policy makers had passed through the institutions of higher learning. Much of that 'wisdom' had been employed and that's why we have such a bias against boys' aggressiveness to such an extent that it is labeled a disorder and many are being treated with psychotropic drugs to 'correct' the 'problem.'
I believe boys need to be valued for their aggression and expectations need to be raised for their morality in relationships. This has been an issue of training since the beginning. The Bible lays out different expectations for men and women in their relationships. Women are instructed to respect their husbands while men are instructed to love their wives. Loving and nurturing comes naturally to a woman but respect does not. Conquest comes naturally to a man but devotion does not.
But getting back to my point. I tell girls to only choose a man that would be a good father and has good moral values. If you don't see that, move on. And I correct an earlier post. It's time fathers (and mothers) tell their boys to treat women with honor and dignity and keep them as top apples. It's time fathers told their boys to wait. Soft sexism - No. Hard-wired sexism.